


All I Want For Christmas (2011)

by JennyB



Series: Advent 2011 [10]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Advent Challenge 2011, Angst, M/M, Podfic Available, Rekindling Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-10
Updated: 2011-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The perfect gift is sometimes something you didn't even know you wanted...</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want For Christmas (2011)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [svana_vrika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/svana_vrika/gifts).



> Written for Advent Challenge 2011. Prompt: 'The only gift I have to give is me'.
> 
> Podfic (by the lovely Kansouame ♥♥) here: [Take a Listen!](http://www.mediafire.com/?80w3ey81dr22m5d)

It was a deceptively beautiful Christmas Eve. The sky was a deep, cloudless cerulean and the air was cool and crisp without the chill of winter wind. Nevertheless, Seto Kaiba turned the collar up on his black wool trench coat as he stepped out of his car, reaching across the console to pick up the bouquet of flowers that rested on the passenger seat. He cradled them carefully in his arms as he silently made his way along the worn path, but he needn't have bothered. The Christmas roses, evergreen boughs, and snowdrops were all hardy varieties that could withstand the cold, and even the white velvet ribbon that bound them all together looked like it could hold its own against the frosty temperatures.

As he crossed a small patch of snow-covered grass, he felt a twinge in his heart. It had been five years now, and every time he came to visit it still felt the same to him - as it had the first time he'd been there. He stopped and he took a deep breath, screwing his eyes shut for a moment before he slowly opened them and looked down at the stone. "It's been a while," he said as he crouched down and brushed the snow off the marble face with his glove so that he could read the inscription:

_Step softly; a dream lies buried here_

Seto's trembling fingers passed lightly over the words. "I still want to make them pay for what they did. I haven't, though. I'm sure you wouldn't like that; you always were my voice of reason. But I still want to." His hand clenched into a tight fist and his voice grew quieter. "Especially when I hear they're being released. Five years is all you were worth. Actually, that's not true. It works out to one year for each of you." He set the bouquet of flowers down, and took a minute to arrange the blossoms and tidy the ribbon. He straightened then and swallowed hard as he quickly wiped his cheek with his fingers. "It's not fair," he said angrily. "Those fucking bastards; it's not fair!"

"Would you feel better if life was fair and he'd deserved this?" a voice asked gently, the warm tenor familiar but older.

Seto scowled as he rounded on the newcomer. "Who the hell asked for your--" He cut himself off and his eyes widened in surprise. "Wheeler?" The blond still had the same idiotic grin plastered to his face that he'd worn back in high school, but he looked a little different now. He was a little bit taller and with about thirty pounds of muscle added to his frame. His hair was shorter in the back, and he'd somehow managed to get his wild fringe under control - for the most part. Seto liked this version better. "What are you doing here?" he asked, suddenly feeling rather awkward when he realized he'd been staring. 

Joey smiled a little. "I came to pay my respects." He approached the marker and knelt down, setting the small bundle of scarlet poppies on the ground. They seemed all the more brilliant against the stark white of the snow. As he stood, he cast an appraising eye over the brunet. He still cut a tall and imposing figure, but even with the bulky winter clothing, Joey could see that he was thinner than he'd remembered. The sapphire eyes were still beautiful in their frigidity, but they were rimmed with dark circles; he looked tired. "Though maybe the one I should be mourning is you, Kaiba," he said gently. There was no malice behind his words, just a deep concern. "Honestly, you look like shit."

"Fuck off. Who asked you to care?" Seto snapped, though he did slip his sunglasses on.

"I've never stopped caring," Joey replied, obviously wounded by that. "Whether you liked it or not, you were a friend." He glanced down at the grave. "Both of you were."

"Yes, well, you lost your right to that when you left. The last I'd heard, you'd headed up north to start over. What's it been now? Almost five years?"

"Oh fuck you, Kaiba!" Joey exclaimed indignantly. "What the hell did you expect? We had that one time together, and then you flat out ignored me after that. I tried to get in contact, but I was blocked no matter what route I took. I got that you didn't want to talk to me, so I figured it was best to move on. But there was one thing I never could figure out."

"And what was that?" Seto asked icily, his jaw clenching tightly.

"Did you push me away because you regretted pity-fucking a dog like me, or was it because you'd finally let someone in after Mokuba, and you got scared?"

Seto turned to face his brother's headstone, remaining silent for a long time. "Let's go for coffee," he said quietly as he turned and headed for his car.

Joey smiled as he fell into step next to him.

Joey wasn't surprised when they wound up at the Kaiba manor. Seto was something of a coffee snob and didn't particularly care for what was often served in cafés, preferring what was made at his home to anything else. He thanked his host when he was handed a steaming cup, and he then leaned forward to add heaping teaspoons of sugar and copious amounts of cream. He looked up when he heard the incredulous snort. "What?"

"You're drinking Kopi Luwak. It sells for about three hundred dollars a pound. It's the epitome of the coffee drinking experience, renowned for its smooth, mild flavour and natural sweetness. And you're putting cream and sugar into it."

"No shit? Really?" Joey shook his head after he'd taken a sip. "Sorry. But honestly, I can't taste a difference." He smiled a little at the shocked look on Seto's face, and then he laughed. "Aren't you glad you invited me for coffee?"

Seto shrugged. "I don't regret asking you, if that's what you're implying." Now that they were inside, he could see that Joey was wearing a suit. It was off the rack and department store quality, but it had still been tailored and was well-fitted. He found he liked _that_ look better than the jeans and t-shirts he'd been accustomed to seeing the other in all the time, too. "So what have you been doing with yourself?" he asked.

"Well, when I left, I decided I'd better get my head out of my ass and do something with myself, so I went to school. I'm a medical technologist."

Seto arched a brow. "How'd you get into something like that? I don't recall you having an affinity for science back in high school."

"Honestly?" Joey smirked. "They were giving out free coupons to the sub shop up the road if you listened to the presentation and filled out an application."

Seto rolled his eyes. "God, you're such an imbecile."

Joey laughed, recognizing the remark for what it was. "Yeah, I know. At the time, I didn't think I'd like it, but now I'm glad I stuck with it. It's been good for me. The program was three years, and I've been working up north since. For the most part, I guess I'm pretty happy. But what about you?"

"I've been keeping myself busy."

Joey eyed him suspiciously. "Yeah, I'm sure." He set his coffee cup on a coaster and moved to sit next to the brunet on the sofa. "What happened to you, Kaiba?" he asked softly, hesitating for a moment before bringing his fingers up to brush the purplish skin under Seto's eye. He wasn't that surprised when his hand was shoved away.

"There's nothing wrong with me," Seto said as his eyes narrowed dangerously, as if silently daring the blond to push the issue.

"Maybe not physically," Joey agreed. "But what about all the other shit you're dealing with? I hate seeing you like this." 

"Then leave," Seto said waspishly. "No one is forcing you to stay here."

"No." Joey's expression was stubbornly defiant, the look reminiscent of the one he used to give Seto during their most epic battles. "I never would have guessed that after all the crap you've been through, it'd be _this_ that finally beat you." He could see that he'd touched a very raw nerve, and he decided to push just a little further, knowing it was for the brunet's good. "That's pretty fucking pathetic. The stuff of losers," he said under his breath as he mentally prepared himself for the impending backlash. 

Joey knew that Seto could be dangerously volatile when forced to face his softer emotions but even so, Joey hadn't expected to find himself pinned on his back and unable to move. He'd forgotten just how strong the brunet was. Especially when fuelled by his anger. Seto's face was twisted in a furious snarl, his expression glacial as he glowered down at the blond. Joey couldn't help the small thrill of fear that ran down his spine as he looked into those eyes.

"And what would you have me do, Wheeler?" he spat through clenched teeth as he tightly fisted the other's jacket. "Forget about that two a.m. phone call asking me to come to the hospital to identify the body? Make peace with the two bastards who were not only street racing, but also _three times_ the legal blood alcohol limit when they hit the car he was driving? Accept that five years is a fair and just sentence for the lives of five sixteen-year olds?" He roughly shook the blond by his lapels as he hissed, "My life is not rainbows and sunshine, and I'm not about to pretend that none of this happened so that _you_ can feel okay about it."

Joey held the other's gaze, but he didn't try to struggle. "I'd never want you to pretend. That would be an insult to Mokuba," he said. "I want you to _grieve_! You think you've got things under control, but you haven't dealt with jack shit. You've repressed it all and hoped it would go away, but it's not going to." He paused, and then said resolutely, "And neither am I."

Seto stared silently at him, and then he laughed. The sound was both cynical and mocking. "Spare me," he sneered contemptuously. "I don't need the false sympathy and empty promises, Wheeler." He let out a bitter half-laugh/half-snort. "This is the reality of it all. Mokuba's gone; everything we'd planned to work at together died with him that night. And you can shove all that crap about being here. You've got your happy little life all laid out in front of you now. The only one I've got is me. That's the way it is and I'll survive." He loosened his grip and fell silent. After a moment, he bowed his head, his bangs falling forward to obscure his face.

Joey understood then, and he sighed. "Fuck, I'm an idiot. I don't regret what I've done with myself, but I regret that I quit fighting. In all the years we've known each other, I'd never walked away from a fight with you until then." He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily before letting the tip of his tongue come to rest along his upper teeth. "Now that I think about it, I think you were counting on that, so you wouldn't have to ask me to come back. Weren't you? And that was the one time..." He paused. "You were right in calling me _zako_ all those years."

Seto's fingers curled tightly into the other's jacket once more. "I hate you, Wheeler," he whispered as he clung even more desperately to the blond.

Joey smiled. "I know. Seto." His expression was extremely gentle as he let his arms wrap around the slender body, and he met with minimal resistance when he sat up and pulled the other to his body. He held the brunet tight against him in an almost protective embrace, just being a comforting presence while Seto worked through five years of pent-up rage, sorrow and loneliness. Seto was tragically beautiful, and it was in that moment that Joey truly understood the nature of the brunet's pride. It fuelled his ambition and compelled him to succeed, while leaving him profoundly fragile and emotionally impotent. He pressed a soft kiss to Seto's cheek. The gesture wasn't returned, but he did feel the resultant smile against his lips.

They stayed like that for a while, but it was Joey who broke the silence. "I've got to get going. Serenity'll kill me if I'm late for dinner." He grinned awkwardly and ran a hand through his bangs, making his fringe stick up haphazardly. "Look, I know it's late notice, but if you don't have plans for Christmas, maybe you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow?" he asked as he slid his arms free from the other and shifted himself into a proper sitting position on the couch.

"Do you have somewhere in mind?"

Joey smiled. "Yeah, actually. It's not that fancy of a place though, so don't dress up." He pulled the pen out of his inside breast pocket and with a smirk, he wrote the address on Seto's palm. "Tomorrow at four, okay?"

"I could have given you a piece of paper," Seto remarked as he looked sourly down at the scribble across his hand.

"Yeah, you could have. But this way, you won't lose it."

* * *

The next afternoon, Seto was surprised when he pulled up not to a restaurant but in front of a small bungalow on the west side of town. He wondered if maybe it wasn't Serenity's house, and that left him feeling awkward at the thought of being invited to the Wheeler's family dinner. Still, he parked his car and got out rather than turning around - though he did slip the small package he'd brought into the pocket of his trench coat once he'd rang the bell.

Joey gave him a wide smile when he answered the door. "Hey, you found it okay! Come on in!" He stood aside to let the brunet enter and waited while he took his shoes off. "Merry Christmas," he said when the other had straightened.

"Merry Christmas," Seto replied. The house was small, but felt rather cozy. And it currently smelled wonderful what with everything that was going on in the kitchen. He heard a timer sound, and when Joey excused himself to go catch it, he arched a brow. Following the blond into the kitchen, he watched as Joey pulled a small turkey out of the oven and set it on the side board. He then glanced towards the kitchen table, and saw that there were only two places set for dinner. "No one else is coming?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, no. It's just us," Joey replied.

"Oh. But I thought--good." He pulled the small present from his pocket and set it on the counter before he slid his coat off and folded it over the back of another chair.

Joey looked surprised when he saw the gift. "You didn't have to get me anything," he said, though when he got a withering stare in return, he laughed softly and reached for it. His smile widened when he saw it was a medical caduceus key chain. "This is cool. Now I have no excuse to lose my lab keys anymore. Thanks!"

Seto shrugged awkwardly. "It's no big deal."

"Well, I was hoping to give you this after we ate, but..." He handed the brunet a card. "You've just gotta promise to stay through, since I cooked all this food and all."

"Don't be stupid. I said I'd stay." Seto opened it and read the printed greeting, though he was a bit confused by the photograph of the blond that was tucked inside. "What, so I don't forget you?" he asked as he held it up.

"As if you could. Joey Wheeler is pretty unforgettable," Joey replied smartly. When he saw that Seto was less than impressed by his cheek, he said, "The house is mine. I took possession last week. I'll be starting at Domino General mid-January." A small smile graced his features, and he offered hesitantly, "I wanted to tell you I was back, but I didn't know what to say to you. I was going to call your office in the new year, but it was dumb luck that I ran into you yesterday. Most of my cash has gone into paying for the house and just regular living expenses, making do until I start collecting a paycheque from DGH, so I couldn't really afford to get you anything. Not that it would have mattered if I could; you can just go buy anything you want at any time. So after we talked yesterday, I realized that the only gift I have to give you is me." He looked away then, and chewed at the end of his thumbnail. "I mean, if you want it. Uh, me."

"You're giving yourself to me?"

Joey blushed. "Well, when you say it like that, it makes me sound like property, or some sort of whore or something, which isn't what I meant, but yeah!" He could feel the weight of Seto's stare on him, and it only made him fidget all the more as he debated the wisdom of his gift. He was sure the brunet was going to leave when he heard his footsteps on the linoleum, though he was surprised when he felt the other's arms go around him. The hug was stiff, but genuine, and Joey returned the embrace.

Seto hid the small smile against Joey's hair. "It's enough."


End file.
